She appears composed, so she is, I suppose...
Yes, I'm back. Temporarily. Until my employer finds this and forces me to take it down, or until one of the Deans decides my passing reference to a vodka collins was fostering alcoholism amongst my fellow classmates.
What actually prompted this entry was a horrific incident that occurred a few days ago at Subway. My need for bacon was at an all-time high (thanks to my realization that I'm going fail all of my classes this semester and didn't really care as I have a job lined up). So to subway I went, to get 4 pounds of a product similar to bacon put on a a piece of white bread with lettuce. Ahead of me in line was a chick who mildly resembled one of the housewives of Orange County - with a Louis Vuitton bag in tow along with a child that was about the age of 6. She had too much makeup on to be running errands, though not enough to mask the fact that she had had a load of plastic surgery done. It wasn't pretty. I'm going to call her Jean.
Jean is one of those individuals who thinks her child is god's gift to the world - so cute, so intelligent, so wonderful. Jean had her young daughter order her own sandwich, which normally I wouldn't give a shit about that aside from the fact that her young daughter incapable of figuring out what to order (besides the toy that came with her kids meal). Jean then proceeded to go through the entire menu with her daughter.
Jean: Do you want tuna?
Kid: No, I want the pink toy.
Jean: Do you want ham?
Kid: No, I want the pink toy.
Jean: Do you want turkey.
Kid: No, I want the pink toy.
And so on. At this point a substantial line had formed behind me. I was not amused. Neither were the people behind me.
Thankfully the child realized that she wasn't going to get the toy until she picked something to eat, and I was able to order my bacon feast. Unfortunately, that wasn't the end of it. The second the employee placed my load of bacon on the bread, Jean decides to look at me, aghast, and exclaim - "Oh my god, that's a TON of bacon on there!" Loud enough for the entire line of now 20-some people to hear. Thanks Jean. I was wondering if I had gone overboard on the bacon, and you really help clear that one up for me. I smiled in such a way to convey my hatred of her, and left it at that.
Then I looked down.
Jean's child had decided to lick the glass that separated the customers from the food.
It wasn't just a quick lick - her apparent goal was to cover the 6 x 3 foot glass with her saliva. It was like watching a leech with pigtails go apeshit. I couldn't look away... aside from pleading with my eyes with the Subway employee to make it stop. Then Jean looked down. AND DID NOTHING. Approximately a foot of the glass was covered in fluid at this point, and Jean just smiled (with no lines around her mouth, thanks to a recent botox injection).
If I only had the balls, I would have yelled out - "Oh my god, that's a TON of saliva on there!"
Thank you Jean, for making the bacon less appetizing. And for reminding me why I despise the vast majority of the public.
What actually prompted this entry was a horrific incident that occurred a few days ago at Subway. My need for bacon was at an all-time high (thanks to my realization that I'm going fail all of my classes this semester and didn't really care as I have a job lined up). So to subway I went, to get 4 pounds of a product similar to bacon put on a a piece of white bread with lettuce. Ahead of me in line was a chick who mildly resembled one of the housewives of Orange County - with a Louis Vuitton bag in tow along with a child that was about the age of 6. She had too much makeup on to be running errands, though not enough to mask the fact that she had had a load of plastic surgery done. It wasn't pretty. I'm going to call her Jean.
Jean is one of those individuals who thinks her child is god's gift to the world - so cute, so intelligent, so wonderful. Jean had her young daughter order her own sandwich, which normally I wouldn't give a shit about that aside from the fact that her young daughter incapable of figuring out what to order (besides the toy that came with her kids meal). Jean then proceeded to go through the entire menu with her daughter.
Jean: Do you want tuna?
Kid: No, I want the pink toy.
Jean: Do you want ham?
Kid: No, I want the pink toy.
Jean: Do you want turkey.
Kid: No, I want the pink toy.
And so on. At this point a substantial line had formed behind me. I was not amused. Neither were the people behind me.
Thankfully the child realized that she wasn't going to get the toy until she picked something to eat, and I was able to order my bacon feast. Unfortunately, that wasn't the end of it. The second the employee placed my load of bacon on the bread, Jean decides to look at me, aghast, and exclaim - "Oh my god, that's a TON of bacon on there!" Loud enough for the entire line of now 20-some people to hear. Thanks Jean. I was wondering if I had gone overboard on the bacon, and you really help clear that one up for me. I smiled in such a way to convey my hatred of her, and left it at that.
Then I looked down.
Jean's child had decided to lick the glass that separated the customers from the food.
It wasn't just a quick lick - her apparent goal was to cover the 6 x 3 foot glass with her saliva. It was like watching a leech with pigtails go apeshit. I couldn't look away... aside from pleading with my eyes with the Subway employee to make it stop. Then Jean looked down. AND DID NOTHING. Approximately a foot of the glass was covered in fluid at this point, and Jean just smiled (with no lines around her mouth, thanks to a recent botox injection).
If I only had the balls, I would have yelled out - "Oh my god, that's a TON of saliva on there!"
Thank you Jean, for making the bacon less appetizing. And for reminding me why I despise the vast majority of the public.
posted by Now with 110% more bitter! at 6:01 PM
1 Comments:
Yeah! You're back! Since when do you not have enough balls to make inappropriate comments to people you don't know?
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