Looking for answers, committing murders along the way

Based upon the following section from my book, it looks like FDA is going to kick my ass this semester....

A suntan product is a cosmetic but a sunscreen product is a drug.
A deodorant is a cosmetic but an antiperspirant is a drug.
A shampoo is a cosmetic but an antidandruff shampoo is a drug.
A toothpaste is a cosmetic but an anticaries toothpaste is a drug.
A skin exfoliant is a cosmetic but a skin peel is a drug.
A mouthwash is a cosmetic but an antigingivitis mouthwash is a drug.
A hair bulking product is a cosmetic but a hair growth product is a drug.
A skin product to hide acne is a cosmetic but an antiacne product is a drug.
An antibacterial deodorant soap is a cosmetic but an antibacterial anti-infective soap is a drug.
A skin moisturizer is a cosmetic but a wrinkle remover is a drug.
A lip softener is a cosmetic but a product for chapped lips is a drug.

Happy.

Close your eyes to corral the virtue, is this fooling anyone else? Never worked so long and hard to cement a failure.

So apparently I was supposed to complete an ungodly long packet for my moral character and fitness portion for the bar exam as of 3 months ago. Thanks for the head's up, law school. It's sad when word of mouth is the only way I find out these things.

Over the next few months, then, I have to:

* Take the MPRE (and pass it).
* Fill out the moral character form (read: book) and get fingerprinted.
* Finish my classes and attempt to study.
* Work 20 hours a week.
* Research assist for another 10-15 hours a week.
* Reduce my use of the phrase: "I don't care, I'm a 3L with a job" so as not to alienate the 3 friends I have.
* Graduate law school.
* Pack up and clean my apartment that I've lived in for the past 4 years.
* Move to California. (Which requires finding an apartment, which requires flying out to Cali at least once for a few days (more like a week if I listen to a friend of mine.))
* Register for Bar Bri (and take it - happy).
* Register for the Cali bar (and take it - happier).
* Pass the Cali bar exam (unlikely).
* Plan and take a bar trip somewhere far far away (which requires a passport, which I also need to get).
* Start work in the real world (happiest).
* Attempt to make my parents understand that I haven't died and that Cali hasn't dropped off into the ocean (which they are convinced it will) - but instead that I'm just a first year associate at a large LA law firm.

* And most important - finish Veronica Mars. And see the rest of "Accepted."

Remind me again why I wanted to do all of this?